finally down to my last paper. phew. it's not easy to maintain my pace when most of my friends are done w their first year. haha.

arghh.. shouldnt have dozed off at 10+. it's 4am now and i cant sleep! what's more, the weather is perfect for the zzzz bug la! rainy with cold winds. yay! after the many many killer weeks of hot and dry air.


i should try to sleep now. good nite.

ah... why was the deadline for release of results pushed back unannounced?! grr. i seriously do not think i have a severe eye prob and i saw the date as 2 may, which is today! =/ ah whatever. isnt postponed too much. just hope it wont dampen my mood and motivation to study. bah...

kinda worried for the bf. he seems to be in desperate need for studying time. exam's tmr but he's not done w his helpsheet. hopefully he can wrap things up later in the nite when he wakes up. (he's hibernating now btw.) is there anything else i can do to help? :|








somehow, i get the feeling i dont matter anymore. my face still appears, but could it that it wasnt intended to be? it hurts whenever i think bout how exploited i was. blatantly. i should try to continue to convince myself that it's all my paranoia that's creating these pessimistic thoughts. bah...

ok it's abit too early for the big YAY! but nonetheless... YAY! hehe. had a paper this afternoon. biz law. omgg... the last time i wrote so much was for JC econ pp. haha! and i tot i wrote alot, till i turned my head around and see so many people tying up their booklets. which means they actually used more than 1, unlike me. WAH LAO! where did they get the energy and speed to write that fast? and of cos, simin w her 19 page long social work essay. O.O this's disgustingly crazy. haha.

well.. i guess the paper went alrite. catherine tay is sooooo scheming! almost got tricked for her first qn. the scenario was bout an advert n whether a person who sent a letter implying an interest in buying the bracelets advertised can be considered as a contract even when the letter was received aft the deadline. (it's pretty long and draggy to explain the actual terms so yeah. gist of it will do. (: ) bef the exam, catherine tay told us to pay attn to postal acceptance rule and ITT. I ALMOST WROTE POSTAL ACCEPTANCE CAN! then all wrong alr. think it was 20 to 30marks worth. whew. (well, i hope i didnt read wrongly and im really not supposed to write that rule in. haha)

law's helluva interesting. ((: but i wont wanna go tru it again. my poor fingers!

i forgot 2nd may is this friday. my next pp. oh my. how can i not know? hoho. gonna take a lil break bef i start on stats tonite. pei yi is the nicest! i found out she's only taught for 2 years and she's THIS good alr! cheerios for her! nominated her for best teacher award. (i forgot the actual award's name. chin chye la hor? hehe)

you know, when people say you come to uni is to prepare for working life, i didnt think they really mean it to such a great extent. =/


a week ago, i just realised my bro's the only freaking smart ass who got 1st class honors for his bachelor's degree for chem engine in Cornell. OMG! n no.2's one of the few who has 2nd upper in his co-hort and he got it w/o S/U-ing any mods. can you feel the pressure?

ah... too much info for my tiny brain. it's gonna explode!

didnt realise i've been doing weekly updates. haha. oh well. nth much to blog anw. it's the same old stuff. blah blah blah.

im sucha bum. deadline for internship application is closing tmr, and i cant be bothered to do up my cover letter and edit my CV (aka resume). not that there wont be other posts coming up, but ah... more applications = more chances rite? =S

still thinking whether i should even apply for it. the reason's kinda complicated, and i dont wanna spill too many beans so early in case (fingers double crossed) stuff gets screwed up. =/ i feel like im in a do-or-die position rite now. bah..

daddy scrapped his lao pok car a few weeks ago. yay! and he bought my bro a van at the same time. hur hur. pendragon productions. that's the name of his company. SO HIM. anw, my dad's driving the van to work now. the new car hasnt arrived yet.

new car new car! ((: nissan latio.

1 more week and it's studying week! ok, that exclamation mark doesnt mean im all cited up for it. haha. but like phew, finally. no more additional details to add onto my study pile. and to talk bout studying, i've not started yet! SCREAMS!



anw, more online shops are springing up now. was browsing through and i saw SIHUI'S shop. haha. oh my. what a coincidence. i've a feeling those were shot in eusoff. haha. and rach's prolly setting up one w eunice dur the 3 mth hols. haha. everyone's being their own boss!

fingers crossed for the competition. PLS PLS PLS!

my stomach's growling. time to stop typing n search for food. bye bye!

i think it's the lack of sleep that's getting me cranky. sigh. somehow i feel really guilty now. sorry no cure, eh? =S now, i cant be sure whether i should let my emotions take over. well, it seems normal to be angry when i look from a 3rd person's point of view. but somehow, i cant get over being pissed off and leaving people in a lurch. (ok, im exaggerating bout it being so serious as a lurch. or maybe not. hm.)

i should understand people have their other priorities too rite? but is it not right to deal with our own tasks? well, of cos it's fine to ask for help too but, perhaps another way of asking'll be better.

sighhhhh... im bad at handling stress. i should go away now.

today was a really bad day. (or rather, yesterday. it's 2am now.)
n i mean, when the clock struck midnight.


no matter how bad today was, i made it through. (with loads of encouragement of cos) what does this show? time doesnt give a shit bout how u feel. get on with it.

stay stong. i will.

kor, get well soon. i miss you.

ok i hope this doesnt signal that im having severe insomnia but just a screwed up bio clock. hur hur. i can sleep real late or early, in this sense nowadays. i guess my record was 10am. HAHA. bout there la.

i have a project meeting at noon tmr later and im stll wide awake!

anyhow, im down with one mid term. management science. oh boy. im keeping my fingers tightly crossed this time. no confidence in the shit i've wrote. ah.. 35% can! )): 2 more to go. stats n econ. =/

got posted to denmark for exchange program. shit man. im the only one from the group who didnt go to belgium. (ok, at least now i dont need to fear living in a house with 3 other guys. LOL.) alrite, guess there needs to be some clarification here. i applied for exchange, hoping to get into solvay uni at belgium. well, i wanted to go there mainly cos my friends who're going next year are going there. no where else. darren got it last sem. 3 spaces left. apparently some %$&#*@ snatched my place and kicked me out. so the 3 guys are going there now.

maybe its a good thing eh? belgium is a pretty expensive place to go. denmark too. so i'll prolly stay in SG and do a local exchange at SMU. (sounds ridiculous huh. haha) well, i used to think like that too, until i went for a talk there. it's really worth the extra ka-ching to study there. like, seriously.

nonetheless, hopes are still placed on getting a place in a 1 year overseas program in the states. sigh. a pity it's not at boston. if not i can visit no.1 regularly.

oh. and im addicted to online shopping. haha. joined 4 sprees in total ok! cheap stuff thou. (but my bank a/c is depleting. AH..) it's a bad thing people invented ibanking. induces impulsive buying for people like ME. haha.







uh... does anyone know how to like "shorten" the entry at the lj's front page into a link and like, let the entire entry appear when you click on it? (pls dont let this sound alien to you!) shit man. use LJ so long still dont know this. LOL.

hm. sometimes i'll wonder why im busy with stuff. you know, tutorials, readings, projects blah blah. are uni students really that buried with work?

maybe it's my combi. it's an in-between the 2 we were supposed to be having. last sem was piled up with projects till the last few weeks of my finals. this time round, it's all assignments, assignments assignments! bahhhh..

ok, maybe it's not THAT bad anymore. well, not that i dont have any groups anymore. i still do actually. like weekly econ assignments to hand in and fortnight law presentations. (seriously, i dont see why a group has to be so big with 9 people in it. isnt it better to have more smaller groups? =/ )

oh yeah. im taking bio now. like WHAT THE SHIT. hahahahaha! thank God it's open book and finals are mcq. hehe. but still! i heard mcq arent that easy ya know. ah heck. i'll pay anyone to take the exam for me. LOL.

daniel's birthday party. sam's movie outing. (thou it'd past.) sistas' mthly meetups. oh boy. i need to find a way to squeeze all of these in man.

mom's in ho chi min now. coming back on wed! yay! was supposed to send her to the airport on sat but i overslept till 1230. (yes i know. VERY LATE.) and when i woke up, she made barley w beancurd skin! <33 felt alil alone that afternoon. no.1's in boston. dad went out for his usual stuff. no.2 went out w caroline. so it was just me n the house. ):

you know what, i miss pre-uni life so badly now. like watching cartoons (totally spies, kim possible etc) n esp on a sunday morn w no.2 n his disgustingly childish hamtaro cartoon. eating breakfast w my family. going grocery shopping w my parents. watching drama serials w my mom. chatting online with friends. going out till im sick of it. T.T

11 more weeks to my long vacation! (im trying to sound optimistic here ok.)

despite being behind time in my readings and knowing it's gonna worsen when the week ends, i'm blogging. wahahaha. prolly cos im kinda hyper / happy / caffeine-overdozed. LOL.

anyhow. there're things that really brightened up my day. hehe. I RECEIVED A PHOTOFRAME FROM FEL! hehe you sneaky lil girl. bet you sent it out the day you flew off la! anyway, thanks so much yeah. reminds me how we managed to bond back again aft 2 years of jc. ((:

had the meet-the-bfs session on sat. HAHAHA and i thought sherning's gonna be the oldest. looks like im wrong! haha anyway, jingxiu and kenneth couldnt make it. BUT IT'S FINE GIRL! we can always have another outing! ((: hehe. well, kinda felt all of us really grew up from our childish ways back in sa. hahaha. and shir n elsa looked so much happier now. IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO! finally, all of us are attached. yay! family is complete.

my tee from david&goliath is COMING! wahahahaha. cheapo me bought it during the sale. cant wait to wear it!

okok. better head back to my readings now. shit. my tummy's growling. )): AHHHHHHHHHHHH...

my braces are officially G O N E! woohoo! waited 6 months just for today! wee... no more worries for food getting stuck in my teeth. no more 'whistles' through my teeth. YEAH!

the dentist was saying i look really happy today. OF COURSE LA! hehe. anyway, taking out the ceramic brackets were the worst part, esp for the 2 in the middle. gosh. for a moment, i thought i'm gonna say goodbye to my two front teeth man. hurt like shit when he plucked them out. haha. BUT ITS OVER!!! ((:

wearing my retainers now. hm.. it seems abit weird though. the middle wire looks lower than what i usually see. n i have problems speaking with it on. ahhh... oh well. at least i can take it out whenever i want. yay! pretty pretty for CNY! wahahaha.

no.1 flew off yesterday. =/ hope everything'll go smoothly and he can be back by end of 2009! ((: guess he prolly is unpacking his stuff over there now. i miss him alr! )):

so its just me again.

i got it all wrong. when i thought staying put was for the better good, i forgot it's time we learned how to fly. i'm the only one clipping my wings and binding myself to the ground for reasons i foolishly hold on to, when peeps have flown the world round and back.

what i reaped was exactly what i sowed. oh no. to think i boasted of my efforts washed down the drain. there isnt any barrier in front to stop me from taking that step forward at all.

took pretty long to realize that we've all grown up and have our separate lives to lead. yet i'm still living in my old shadows of my empty fears. sheesh.

i hope it's still not too late for me to wake up now.

school barely started and im already dead beat. (hur hur. looks like meisi and simin are tired too.)  my room's in a terrible mess. much terrible 5hours ago. i should've taken a photo of it just now. my gosh. it's like a freakin warehouse in here.

well, help's on its way. sherning should really become a part-time interior designer. hehe. credits to no.2 too. im totally an idiot when it comes to designs. bought white blinds for my windows. just waiting for the contractor to drill holes into my wall before i can finally hang them up! YAY! no more showroom and the feeling of my privacy being invaded. wahaha.

daddy doesnt allow me to get a painting for my wall! )): (okay it costs $249 inclusive of the frame but 3digits are an instant turn off you know.) crap. gotta hang smth else then.

school work. oh boy. im gonna plan my time really carefully this time. complete my tutorials way ahead of time so i can have some left to spare for chilling out. (:

my bio clock's kinda screwed. and i told myself im gonna readjust my sleeping hour bef school commences. hoho. well, i take a nap from 8+ till near midnite and study till 3+ or 4 and sleep till 830 for school. OH MAN! maybe i should sleep early tonight. (yeah, like i can get a good night sleep when i've not touched my stats notes. eeks!)

cny's coming. haven't done any shopping yet! AHH.. eying a pair of CK jeans that cost a bomb. )): I WANT THEM! sale sale sale come quick! n my bank account's running dry. ok not exactly dry in the sense that i spent them all. have yet to claim from my parents. MY SAVINGS! ):

marched in the new year in the car. -.- ECP (or is it PIE) was jam packed with cars. for once i stopped on an expressway. its alright anw. caught a glimpse of the fireworks. thats not the point actually. fireworks are getting more common. esp when national day's round the corner. anyhow, HAPPY '08 PEOPLE! ((: new year, fresh start. so whatever things you didnt or couldn't achieve, there's a whole year for u to replan yeah!

time for some new year resolutions:
1. pull my CAP up to 4.0
    yeah. didnt do well. but lets not go into the details yeah. that shit's for last year. new sem new score. wahahaha.

2. more frequent and regular meet-ups
    my goodness. the worst is still sistas clicque. the first meet up aft getting our Alevel results were for our birthday celebrations. HAHA. bad bad bad. n oh! bumped into BONG on orchard road recently. its high time to have a mega update session w one-off too. (pardon the clicque name. u know sec sch... yeah. HAHA) n of cos, my other group of fantastic and wonderful friends.

3. make more friends
    well, cant coop up in my lalaland forever right? haha.

4. read newspapers
    yeah. surprised? bummer here doesnt read newspapers at all! n im in bizad. HAHA. im trying alr. politics are darn boring you know! oh yeah. add in newsweek and readers digest that sort of readings too. T.T haha.

5. more family time
    no.1 back! WOOHOOO! but only for a month. so when he flies back (soon but i forgot when) i wont see him till end of 09. T.T AHHHH... n after my mom's incident. somehow my family's closer now. yesterday was the first time my entire family set down tgt n BBQed. ((:

6. stop cut down on my bitching
    hey, its impossible not to bitch bout anyone can. hehe.

7. balanced life
    its gonna be hard. but i'll try. (:

hm. guess that's all i can think of right now. but yeah. those shall be the main ones for this year. shouldnt be that unachievable right? hehe.

friends come... and go. didn't i know that?

traffic flows on a busy street. is that what it's supposed to be?

and the ironic thing is, i myself am choosing my friends. well, in one sense. when it comes to things i should and need to do. prioritizing. yeah. thats it. dont wanna any wrong intentions felt. a ruthless move, i agree. but if its the last and only one i can think about before its too late, then...

last night's chat. a content all so familiar. it's just me. takes time to change certain stuff. the transition's hard. but i guess time'll escalate when i need it to.

it's amazing how buzzy days then can be reduced to dust and emptiness in sucha short time frame. feels weird now. but i'll get used to it. the picture'll get darker inevitably anyway.

words shant be pricky anymore. breezes shant be freezy anymore.

i ought to kick this extremely bad habit of not replying my friends' smses. most of the time, it's cos im barely awake reading it so when im finally awake, i totally forgot bout replying and yeah. shittt. im so sorry my friends! change's in the process yeah.

ok ok. i shouldnt kid myself anymore. as if i dont know why im doing it, or rather, not doing it. too caught up with my personal life that i lost track of the outside. self-delluding. hoping judgement day wont come so soon.

so that's it for my first semester in nus. oh boy is it fast. felt like yesterday i stepped into the compound. the place's still kinda foreign to me. cant get the tutorial rooms at biz2 right. hur hur. anw, exams ended at 830pm on 6dec. fna students were one of the last few poor souls to end that late. most of the people ended a day earlier, while i was left struggling w 2 papers. one morning one evening. =| anyhow, i dunno how i did it but i managed to squeeze every second out to finish mugging. well, if you consider studying those qns that frequently come out studying. papers were.. hm. oh well nth much to comment on. dont know how the marking's like. tot i could've done more for op mgmt. fna. 4 qns, i only had time for 2. wonderful isnt it? HAHA. oh well. many faced the same thing la. so yup. fingers crossed i see Bs and As on boxing day.

n i freaking put on WEIGHT can!! bloody shit! im gonna lose my waist soon. ): there goes skinny legs! AHHHH... gonna swim aft this week. ITS TIME TO BURN OFF THOSE LOVEHANDLES!

xmas is round the corner. i simply have no clue what to get for anyone. n oh, if there're any kind souls out there who have spare cash to spare me a teeny weeny present, no chocs pls. im as fat as i can be right now. thank you. hehe.

exams in 6 days time. i've not touched 2.5 modules. cheerios to me. hoho. nobody can be as screwed up as me right now. (alrite, at least i hope im on par with hairol. ok wait, thats an evil thought. =/ ) pfft.

the projects really took a major toll on my studies. i couldnt focus at all. every word i read just went straight out of my head the next sec. thank goodness i got back my momentum. albeit very late. hur hur. but oh well. better late than never huh. sheesh.

my mom's hospitalized. argh. i cant help but blame myself whenever i visit her at nuh. (phew. its so near sch.) shant go into the details but basically she broke her toe. and thank the Lord the doc managed to save it in the nick of time. i cant bear to see my mom walking ard with erm, 9 toes. just the tot of it gives me the creeps.

if only i was at home with my mom. she called every one of us. my dad. no.2. me. nobody answered. i called back. fucking mio was down. HOW SWAY CAN THAT BE RITE. of all days! can you imagine, my mom actually hopped out of the house n ring my neighbour's doorbell across the street?! damnit. my heart aches when i try to picture her in pain. ARGH.

got a call from my dad only the next morning, which was ytd. went home to grab some stuff to study plus her stuff bef i head down to nuh. i hated myself for being the last closet kin to be there for her. well, you cant count no.1. he's in US for goodness sake. i felt so ashamed of myself. so bloody unfilial. i was asleep while she was in pain, waiting for her surgery. and woke up when it was done. im the nearest to the hospital. yet im the last to arrive. grr.

i finally know how much i love my mom. (yeah, what a way to know man.) damn. things're gonna be different now. gonna go home once my exams are over. to take care of her. or at least, watch over her. argh. why are my exams NOW?!

my grades are sooooo gonna be crappy this sem. oh boy. i so pray for a miracle.